On Wednesday 1st January 2020, my Grandad Ed died, aged ninety-five years old.
What an absolute hero.
He made it all the way from 1924 to 2020, and he did so with determination, wisdom, and a fantastic sense of humour to the very end.
We've been talking about him a lot recently- because I imagine we always will, of course- but also because a) he was exceptionally wise and would have had something very sensible to say about the planet right now and b) he flipping loved a jigsaw, and they seem to have become a bigger feature in my world in the past week or so.
One of my favourite stories about him is the one about the time he tore the house apart looking for the missing piece of his puzzle, only for one of his neighbours to pop in for a cup of tea a few days later and confess to taking it as a joke.
At his funeral, the most amazing woman spoke beautifully about his life, and told a couple of stories I hadn't heard before. Since then, I've also spoken to my cousins and brothers and parents, and asked them to share their favourite stories in an attempt to get them all together on one page, and paint a picture of this wonderful man...
1) One of my favourite ever conversations with him went like this...
"Your brother seems very happy with his girlfriend. Everyone's being very vague about how they met though. Can you tell me once and for all. How did they meet?"
"Well," I began, wondering where exactly to begin with explaining Tinder to a ninety-one year old, "on the internet."
I stopped there, thinking that would do for today's lesson.
"Right," he replied, seeming to take it all in. "You must have some real issues if you've got to turn to the internet to find a girl, haven't you?"
He then continued to ask me this question every single time I saw him for the next few months. He didn't have a memory loss issue. He was just delighted with that punchline.
2) Absolutely everyone that I asked for stories from commented on his little sayings. He always called us 'duck' (until I was about 14 I thought my nickname was dup- never even occurred to me to question it), called my brothers 'urchins' (and my brother found out today that he was calling him an urchin and not an urchant, which is not a thing) and he always followed up goodbye with 'don't do anything I wouldn't do, and if you do, don't get caught.' And a very cheeky smile.
3) The first time he met my brother's (twenty year old) girlfriend, he told her 'you're lovely- if only I were ten years younger'. It really made her laugh and relaxed her with a new family. And speaking of meeting relatives...
4) My Nanny Eileen- Grandad Ed's wife- always used to tell the story of the first time she met his grandmother. She said 'I'm sure I won't meet you again.'
Firstly- can you imagine saying that to someone?! Secondly, my grandparents were then married for 58 years. What a brilliant way to prove her wrong.
5) My Grandad's favourite story to tell was about the day of his first date with Nanny Eileen. She was late. She was so very late, that he was about to leave. He vowed that he'd wait for one more bus, and then he'd go. I worked out recently that there are no less than twenty-five people who would never have been born had she not been on that bus. Magical.
6) My memory is that we always had the most incredible food at Nanny and Grandad's house. There were always cakes and biscuits, we always had the best breakfast there if we had a sleepover, and in my mind 9 out of 10 visits involved a prawn cocktail (but the 9 year old in me is probably exaggerating that). My cousins, who are older and wiser, assure me that Grandad's barbecued sausages were always burnt but everybody ate them anyway. Another cousin pointed out that the biscuit tin was always full but you never saw a packet of biscuits, let alone anyone hastily refilling the tin.
7) My eldest cousin, who was always the most sensible of her siblings (as we eldest children naturally are), told me of memories of playing wheelbarrow races in the garden but never, ever going near the flowers. Her younger sisters told me stories of moving all his garden gnomes and then being told off for being little minxes. This was a revelation to me because 1) I never, ever saw him remotely cross. Not even once, and 2) Despite never seeing him cross, I would never have dreamed of playing up for him. I did once whisper to my little brother to ask if we could have a sweet (they had sweets in little dishes everywhere) and my Nanny told me in a clipped, Mary-Poppins style voice that I should ask for myself in future. That was as scary as they ever got.
8) He loved his shed. He built sledges, rabbit hutches, rocking horses, wendy houses, beds, shelving units...you name it, he made it in that shed. It was his haven, and another place that one of his cheeky granddaughters liked to go. Forbidden territory.
9) He didn't talk about the war really, unless you asked very specific questions- then he talked sadly about friends he lost. I once asked him what on earth he did when the war was over. 'Got very, very drunk', he replied, to my absolute delight.
10) My Grandad had the most incredible relationship with his children. I was struck recently by just how special his relationship with my auntie's husband was- the level of love that my uncle showed for someone he is related to by marriage. When I voiced this to my Grandma- from the other side of my family- she told me she always remembers being struck by how close they were the first time she saw them together in the eighties, when my Grandad told my uncle, with a laugh in his voice, to f*** off. Takes a real level of closeness to speak to your son in law like that. Funny show of love, but definitely a show of love, nonetheless.
11) I had the one and only sensible conversation about Brexit and Trump, post-votes, that I ever had, with my Grandad Ed. I won't share what was said, but what he said was calm, considered, and wise, and it shed some light onto opinions I had been unable to understand. It was also magical to see the lightbulb go on his mind when I explained my thoughts.
12) Mia and I once had the most wonderful morning with him at his house when she was a few months old. He watched Mia in absolute awe which- for someone who's had three kids and around five million grandchildren- was really special. He told me that he was always at work when his wife and children were at home during the day, and that it was lovely to see it from this side- to see what happened whilst he was at work.
13) He and my Nanny always waved everyone off at the door with their arms around each other, until we were completely out of sight. Even after 58 years of marriage. It always stayed with me as one of the most romantic things ever to happen. After my Nanny's funeral, someone said to my Grandad 'he really got the essence of Eileen, didn't he? The speaker?' And Grandad replied 'I had the essence of her.' Probably the most romantic and most heartbreaking words ever uttered.
So to our wonderful Edgar Charles George Lund. We are all so very aware of how lucky we are to have had you in our lives, and I, along with the many, many people you had a magical impact on, will continue to live on with your wise words in our heads, and your cheeky smile in our souls.
I won't do anything you wouldn't do, I promise.
And if I do, I won't get caught :)
